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Chocolate Crosses

07 Apr

Those of us who have been around for a while get used to certain un-ending trends. Athlete’s salaries always get more ridiculous. Televisions always get bigger. Politicians always get sleazier. Some things just seem to have no limit.

 

Another seemingly endless trend is the crass commercialization and cheapening of the most exalted and meaningful symbols. I’m not talking here about t-shirts made to look like the American flag, as hideous as those are. No, what really set me off this week was the realization that the local Walmart (the arbiter of all things main-stream) is now selling chocolate crosses as part of their Easter candies. That’s right, the ghastly symbol if Roman power and cruelty, transformed by Christ into the ultimate symbol of Divine love bearing and forgiving human sin, has now become…a child’s candy treat.

 

See it so lovely and inviting, surrounded by flowers (which is surely how the Roman soldiers adorned the cross).  See it nestled on the plastic grass, with Peeps and Reese’s eggs to accompany it.  See the good American child, happy for a moment as he consumes it sugary goodness, then wipes his mouth.  Did I mention it is a CROSS we are speaking of? An instrument of torture and death?  Next year will they sell marshmallow gallows? Perhaps a hanging noose made out of licorice? A candy electric chair? Have we so domesticated the spiritual that we don’t realize how a chocolate cross is just as obscene? Nay, a hundred times more so!

 

Tomorrow is Easter. I will go to church, remember the meaning of the crucifixion, and celebrate the empty tomb. And I will try very, very hard to forget about chocolate crosses.

 

 
 

Leave a Reply

 

 
  1. Stephanie Ivy

    04/07/2012 at 1:31 pm

    That’s…alarming. But I seem to recall that those were around when I was a kid too. It didn’t wig me at the time, but now having thought more about what crucifixion actually entailed…yeah. No.

     
    • Daniel

      04/07/2012 at 6:49 pm

      Yeah, it probably wouldn’t have annoyed me as much when I was younger. But the cross becomes precious to me as time goes by.

       
  2. Chris

    04/07/2012 at 3:06 pm

    “Have we so domesticated the spiritual that we don’t realize how a chocolate cross is just as obscene? ”

    Yes. I present you the Testamints gum and mints. Then we have the cross-covered pencils and neckties. I’m really not surprised by the chocolate cross. I mean why did it take so long to come up with that!

    Tom Waits covered it best in his song, Chocolate Jesus…

    Well I don’t go to church on Sunday
    Don’t get on my knees to pray
    Don’t memorize the books of the Bible
    I got my own special way
    I know Jesus loves me
    Maybe just a little bit more
    I fall down on my knees every Sunday
    At Zerelda Lee’s candy store

    Well it’s got to be a chocolate Jesus
    Make me feel good inside
    Got to be a chocolate Jesus
    Keep me satisfied

    Well I don’t want no Anna Zabba
    Don’t want no Almond Joy
    There ain’t nothing better
    Suitable for this boy
    Well it’s the only thing
    That can pick me up
    Better than a cup of gold
    See only a chocolate Jesus
    Can satisfy my soul

    When the weather gets rough
    And it’s whiskey in the shade
    It’s best to wrap your savior
    Up in cellophane
    He flows like the big muddy
    But that’s ok
    Pour him over ice cream
    For a nice parfait

    Well it’s got to be a chocolate Jesus
    Good enough for me
    Got to be a chocolate Jesus
    Good enough for me

    Well it’s got to be a chocolate Jesus
    Make me feel so good inside
    Got to be a chocolate Jesus
    Keep me satisfied

     
    • Daniel

      04/07/2012 at 6:48 pm

      Wow, that song is perfect for this post. I had not heard it before. Thanks for sharing it.

       
      • chris

        04/09/2012 at 3:17 pm

        I wonder if I can get these on the cheap as part of an After Easter sale? I was thinking of melting them all into a chocolate calf. Of course, I’ll wrap it in gold foil.

         
        • Daniel

          04/10/2012 at 12:26 pm

          That’s hilarious. At least if God makes you drink it (Exodus 32:20) it won’t be so bad.

           
  3. random visitor...

    04/26/2012 at 8:12 pm

    Intelligent, yet very religious! Something’s got to give! :-)

     
 
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